Aperture Settlings

Returning to the blogosphere

2006-09-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

So the other day, a friend in Reno mentioned that I had moved 2500 miles from my most recent home (Portland) and that he thought that, since I had a blog, it might be nice for me to update it now and again. I didn't really think much of it because I only know two people who EVER read this damn thing and that is him, and my former roommate in Portland. But who knows, maybe there are more. If not, then the former roommate and my friend in Reno (the admiral) will at least be kept up to date. So here comes my first blog in over a year:

Recently, I returned "home" after an absence of over 15 years. "Home" is in quotes because I grew up near where I am living now and not actually here. Here, is Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and it is not as good as Portland (my favorite city in the US) or as bad as advertised. Pittsburgh is not as much a large city as it is a bunch of small boroughs and burgs thrown into the same geographic area. It is a real change from what I got used to in P-town. Here you go to different neighborhoods and get different things. And the blue collar and white collar neighborhoods have this invisible line in a street that seems to seperate them like a wall. I was always amazed by friends who lived in the Portland suburbs who didn't know where something was downtown. In Pittsburgh, if it is not in your neighborhood, you may not know it though it is only 4 blocks away.

No one walks in Pittsburgh apparently. A few weeks ago, the wife and I walked from Station Square (South Side of the Ohio River (I think)), to the other side of downtown. A distance of maybe 2.5 miles (maybe). The wife still gets amazed and astonished looks from people when she tells them where she walked. As long as the snow remains off the ground, I think we will be walking.

There is a light rail here and the train is interesting. You pay when you get off, not when you get on. Also, for those of you who are in Portland and like your public transit......NEVER, EVER, EVER, MOVE ANYWHERE ELSE!!! You will be sorely disappointed by any other transit system. Even the Metro in Paris can get a bit confusing, but Pittsburgh's transit system as a whole (even when not compared with Portland) is the 4th circle of Dante's Inferno.
On the good things about Pittsburgh front. Housing is CHEAP. I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the city, have a 3 bedroom house with a finished attic for an office (big attic too), and pay less rent than I did in Portland for a 3 bedroom townhouse which was about half the size.

The nightlife is pretty good in Pittsburgh. You have to look for it, but when you find it, you cannot help but be impressed. We found a place called the Altar, which is a bar in a converted stone church. We walked the South Side, which has more interesting places to be in a 20 block stretch than anywhere outside of Europe (sorry, but there are great stretches of bars in Rotterdamn and Brussels). We found Station Square, trendy but there are block parties every Friday. We found Squirrel Hill, an eclectic mixture of trend and old world (and great Jewish Soul Food). Speaking of REAL food, we found a GREAT (and I mean FANTASTIC) West African restaurant (Safari Restaurant) which had the best goat I have had in years. (Not to mention beans and rice and lobter croquets etc. etc.) Seriously, we will take you when you come to visit.
Anyhow, that is my brief introduction to Pittsburgh. It's where I live now. We will see if I can eventually call it home.

Katrina Releif Auctions

2005-09-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

Living in the Northwest we are about as far away from the havoc that has been caused by Hurricane Katrina. Well, at least some of us are. I however used to live in both Mobile and Biloxi and have been to New Orleans MANY times. I have (and unfortunately HAD) friends in both Biloxi/Gulfport as well as New Orleans and feel rather hampered that there seems to be little I can do to help. I was supposed to be flying into New Orleans and driving to Mobile at the end of the month and had plans for another photo shoot in the Big Easy. Instead I am now flying into Pensecola and am going to try and find missing friends in Bay St. Louis and Gulfport. But as my little gesture to try and help, I am auctioning of some framed prints of pictures I took in New Orleans last year.

Click HERE to check out my auction

Please, if you can't afford to help (or have no interest in photography) pleasae send the link above to anyone who you think MIGHT be interested.

Thanks,

Serenity Takes Edinburgh

2005-08-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

So, as most of you know, I am a fan of the series "Firefly" and have been anxiously waiting fot the movie serenity to come out. Alas, I will have to wait a little longer but soon....so very soon..... Given what is going on in my life on September 30th, and that both Mirrormask and Serenity come out on that day.....I wonder what will happen if I just go to the movies instead.

Read the review from the Edinburgh Film Festival HERE

BTW, Serenity was #1 in Audience Polls for the festival

Lego Land Hell.... now we have lego space....

2005-08-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, check this out: How cool is this:

Click HERE!!

I know, I am a Firefly Geek on top of everything else.

New stupid test....

2005-07-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Sexy Geek
Congratulations! You scored 56!

Congratulations! You possess that heady combination of intelligence and
social skills, geekdom and sex appeal. You're probably nowhere near as
popular as you deserve to be, but deep down you know that anyway. Estne
volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me voleri? Famous sexy geeks
include Nick Drake, Glenn Gould and Luke Skywalker.

The Sexy Geek Test written by littlecellist on Ok Cupid

Making Science without using Protection

2005-06-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

Baaaaaa!!! Baaaaa!! Being a sheep this morning. Thanks Wolfe and Duck--

Geeks can get the girls....

2005-06-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

Of course our friends at Slashdot would make sure this article gets viewed by EVERYONE to whom geek-ness is not just a habit but a lifestyle choice.

It may even be a veiled advertisement for this place but you know what, who cares. I have a couple of friends whom I have a regular coffee night with on Wednesdays (although I am not there as regularly as I should be) and they always complain about the women they meet, or more importantly the women they can never seem to find. Well maybe Geek 2 Geek has them.

Right now, it is not a concern of mine. I have a girlfriend who's company I thoroughly enjoy and who is happy just spending time with me. I am sure that the fever will eventually break and she will come to her senses, but for now, I will watch from the sidelines. M and John though, you guys need to check this place out. Maybe Wolfie (are you still doing the poly thing) and GD as well......HEY!!! I GOT IT, MEMBERSHIPS AS B-DAY presents!!!

Not something to be proud of.....

2005-06-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am not proud but I do understand:

An EPIC Event....

2005-05-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

A friend at work sent this link to me today, interesting socialogical concept hey kids. Wonder how accurate it will be.....Stay Tuned.

Video Game Enourages Drug Use -- WTF?????

2005-05-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so today's post is about total geekdom and my other favorite subject, Politics. You see Midway has produced a new game called NARC and it is getting all sorts of press see here
(Windows Media File). The deal is that you can be a narcotics cop or such who can go around and bust druggies and take thier drugs from them. Now what seems to be upsetting people is that fact that not only can you take their drugs FROM them, but that you can TAKE their drugs in general. Drugs can enhance you abilities temporarily but you can become addicted and blackout and there are even random sobriety and drug tests. All these actions (and many more) produce consequences.
The big bitch is that this game is written so that if you only take drugs "occasionally" you can get special abilities. Therefore many groups feel that it glorifies drug use. And if you get "addicted" that a few button pushes on the controller can clean you up. They say it is an unrealistic portrayal of what drug addiction is.....NO SHIT!!! IN A VIDEO GAME?!?!?!? Whoda thunk it?
Anyhow, I have not played the game, but we have been able to take power up potions for YEARS in games, and they never before have had adverse effects. These do, and they are named (and slightly modeled) after REAL drugs. To me it sounds like this is more realistic than video games have been in the past.....What do you think?

BTW- According to Gamespot the real horror of NARC is that it is a mediocre game with a good number of bugs. Maybe this is the crime we should all worry about.

Unitarian Jihad

2005-05-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

I never really thought about Unitarians on a Jihad but it's not too far fetched a concept I guess. Anyhow thanks to Greyduck for this little bit of stupidity:

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Shuriken of Reflection. What's yours?

Big Brother Lives in The State Department.....

2005-04-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

Having just returned from my recent trip to Europe, I decided that this post was timely enough now, especially since what I experienced in the EU is MUCH different than the Europe I remember from 5 years ago. As many of you know I TRY to get out of the country once a year, but the last 4 times I have been to Europe I was in non-EU countries and not travelling between countries at all so what I expected was not what I received. Chris was mad at me also, because I told him his passport would be stamped as we travelled from country to country. I was wrong.
Anyhow, this is not a blog entry on the trip but on another new "security" measure that our beloved government is trying to foist upon us because they think we are to dumb to know what they are talking about. Then newest thing in the Big Government/Big Brother Arsenal......Passports with RFID. What, you ask is RFID? Well I could tell you, but then someone has already written a better description than I can give so, HERE and since I am posting links to other peoples info and opinions HERE IS A GREAT BLOG ENTRY ON THE SUBJECT

Okay, now for my 15003 Turkish Lira on the subject. NO WAY IN HELL.....Sure it is not an eloquent opinion but it is VERY well thought out and states my point entirely. The scariest thing about RFID's in your passports is that there are NO NEW LAWS that need to be written, all the laws that will allow the State Department to do this are already in place. So my advice is, as always...write, email, fax, call your elected representatives and let them know what you think. I did and I am sure that old Earl Blumenauer is getting sick to death of me.

Pictures.....like you care.....

2005-04-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

For some reason, using this template, you have to scroll down a little to see the pictures....I don't know why.

The 10 minute post....

2005-04-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

So......Luxembourg...Well at least I didn't get charged with trespass, my access for pictures however, was a little more limited than it was supposed to be. Had I gone on the tour, I probably would have done better. Tomorrow, I am going to take pictures at a 14th century castle near Brussels though. I was going to stay in Lux tonight but it is a 4 hour ride from here to Frankfurt and a 3 hour ride from Brussels so I think I will go back there.
Tomorrow is my real day too play tourist, to the effect that I am putting my camera bag in a locker in the Train station and going to just wander around the museums like a real tourist does. There are 3 Bosch paintings in Brussels and I am going to see them no matter which museums I have to go to.
Speaking of Brussels, I have to mention the Cathedral of St. Michael which Victor Hugo called "The greatest representation of Gothic Architecture in the world" I just bought 1600 speed film and am doing night shots there and at the Palace in Brussels.
I have decided that, although Chis is my friend, I am definitely enjoying the day by myself. Nothing denotes how good a friend you are to someone like spending a solid WEEK in their company. If we don't kill each other in the next two days, the friendship may make it.Talk to you all tomorrow.

The Cat on the Bar....

2005-04-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

Overheard last night in a neighborhood bar in Brussels From Mom, "That Cat is the Devil!!! He drives me crazy!!" From son (Bartender) "No.....He is a good cat and just wants too be fed" From cat (sitting on the bartop) "puuuuuuuurrrrrrr" I will guarantee we were the first tourists to walk in the in a long time. Thank goodness for rain, it helps you find the most interesting places.

Europe Calling....

2005-04-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Well I promised to post to this blog while on this trip, I have been here 5 days and this is the first chance I have had to post. For everyone (all three of you), who have been waiting, sorry I been busy.
Okay, I started in Frankfurt, made it to Rotterdam, went to Brugge, Antwerp, Gouda and now I am in Brussels, the only bad thing is I have to be in Lux tomorrow and I need a rest.
So the hardest thing about waiting 5 days to post on the net is remembering everything that has happened. Especially since I am traveling with my friend Chris and this boy can drink damned. Not a bad thing, especially when on vacation but I get up very early to get as many pictures as possible without so much clutter (people, cars, etc.) and I am now averaging about 3 hours of sleep a night. Also, I have to fly to LA on Friday for an opening on Saturday. REALLY, The photography thing is only a hobby,
So in Frankfurt on Wednesday, I got some great pictures, and almost charged with trespass. Damned it was a garden behind a museum, how was I supposed to know it was private property. On Thursday, I made it to Rotterdam, and the pictures I got on Friday morning made having to walk up 3 flights of stairs in the hostel with 60 pounds of gear, worth it. Now all I have to do is get my film back to the states safely, because they want 24 a roll for processing here. Rotterdam is a VERY friendly city and I have never felt so comfortable talking to people when I had made no effort to learn their language. I knew most Dutch spoke English better than Americans in Amsterdam but apparently, it is nationwide. BTW for those of you who do not know many Europeans use a different keyboard from US and it is a a little more difficult to type when you usually do it automatically.
After Rotterdam was Brugge, and Chris thought he had died and gone to heaven, which is not bad considering he is an Atheist. Let just say that his Beer quota was well filled. As a matter of fact, so was mine. To give you an Idea how easy that is to do? Diet Coke here is 1.60 (about $2 for a 20 oz.) Juplier and Hoogesgarden are about 1.20 for the same size. Again in Brugge I got some GREAT pictures including some night shots, we also showed up there on Friday night. So What? The tour of Flanders started there on Saturday morning, I got a press pass :-) Then about 20 minutes later, again I almost got charged with trespass. Apparently, the guy who gave me the press pass, was not supposed to, I am now REALLY nervous about all this access I am supposed to have in Lux tomorrow.
Anyhow, the pictures will be done when I get back to the States, and I am redoing the site so I can have more pictures up easier, until then, patience is a virtue. I will try to post again tomorrow and I am happy about one thing when it comes to being in Belgium, I speak French and do not feel like such a schmuck tourist now. BTW, if you notice there are no apostrophes in this letter, that is because I just found the ' key, it's the number 4 key (no shift). See everyone soon.

New post on an old joke.....

2005-03-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

Good morning faithful reader. If I have time later today, story time will follow this post. Until then a little link to remind you that our President is a LOT more like Lou Costello than anyone wants to admit:

George is on first...

GEEK!!!! I AM A GEEK!!!

2005-03-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

Thanks a lot Wolfie, I could have gone without knowing about this. After all, once I knew it existed, I had to take it now didn't I:

:: how jedi are you? ::

I should be ashamed, but I have to admit I am not.

Age and Responsibility....

2005-03-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

So last night I had an interesting conversation with a rennie friend of mine. We were discussing the faires and how short and limited the season is once you get North of the San Joaquin Valley or east of the Appalachians and she asked me why I didn't do street performances in Portland since it would let me work on my act between shows, she says my act is becoming like Thomas'
Thomas has been juggling for something like 15 years and I have been friends with him for 8 or 9 (Being a Rennie blends friendship time, must be that whole "pretend you are living when thing".) Anyhow, Thomas is a GREAT, GREAT performer, and one of the best jugglers I know. His act, however, only gets minor changes over time. He will come up with something and if it works, it's in, and the only thing that will get it removed is an entertainment director who thinks it is to risque, or a show that doesn't give him the time to get to THAT section of his act.
Now as good a performer as Thomas is, I am a better comedian. I used to do stand-up on the road and I used to do improv at a theater in LA and one in Las Vegas. So to be told that my act is getting a little stale bothered me a LOT!! And then I thought about it, and I not only agree it is, but I think I know why. AGE!! and even worse RESPONSIBILITY!!!
As many of my readers know (since I think only my friends read this journal) the same year I turned 30, barely a month before my 30th birthday, I became "THE MAN!!!" It is not something I like to dwell on since it is not something I am necessarily proud of, but then being "THE MAN!!" in Portland is like being a hippie freak anywhere else. What makes me, "THE MAN"? Well just before my 30th birthday, I went to work as a computer programmer for the Multnomah County Sheriff's office and it really isn't a bad place to be a geek. They are not too stringent on dress code and they are not concerned with much except the project getting done. They even let us work from home if we need to. And thankfully, except for a couple of the contractors, I can still be "the weirdest guy in the room" and no one seems to care.(where the hell did Turning Hand and Skeptical Mysyics sites go?!?!?!?)
To add insult to injury, I actually had to buy new insurance this year, not just because my old insurer isn't doing business in the States anymore, but because I am getting so bloody responsible. Now, if someone gets hurt or property gets damaged during one of my shows, and I get sued, I actually have things to loose!!! ARRRRGHHHHH!!! And sadly I am not delusional enough to think it can't happen, I remember when someone (Thomas swears it wasn't him) burned down Mullah's in Devore.
Well I have spread my insecurities for all to see today. This may be one of the more personal posts I have put up in a while. Tomorrow, (or whenever I write again) I think I will go back to story time. Firstly, it's easier to tell stories. I just type out the ones I tell all the time, and secondly, I still think I am the only one who reads this blog and I already know all of my insecurities. Why should I write them out online just to read them. I can get a journal not open to the world for that :-D

Story Time (Impact Wins)

2005-02-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know (or maybe not), that I perform in Renaissance Faires all over the country. Mostly the West Coast now, since I finance my own performances and geneally passing the hat is not something I am good at. (Hey, I like entertaining, but I could never make a real business out of it).
Anyhow, since I moved to the Pacific Northwest, I have been hired as the crier and herald for a number of faires. Again, "hired" is a relative term since I have only been paid by a couple of the faires up here, but then I have only asked a couple.
A few years ago, I was working the Glastonbury Renaissance Faire as the Herald (aka general Mouth On Call). This meant that when announcements needed to be made, I made them. And since the fair is a decent size, this usually requires lung-power which I have in abundance. However on occasion, I am upstaged by my friend and comrade Impact. This is one of those times.
I was told that a vehicle was parked in a fire lane. I was given the make, description and license number and proceeded to walk the fair yelling this information as loudly as my bass voice and diaphragm control would all. To say that I was being ignored was an understatement. People would get out of my way and they would look at each other but no one went to move this vehicle. After about 5 minutes (a long time to yell such boring information), Impact had something he usually doesn't get on his own, an idea.
Impact on his own inititive, grabbed a picnic table, climbed up on top of it and said loudly. "LORDS AND LADIES.......THIS MINUTE WE SHALL BE HOLDING AN AUCTION!!!! " everyone around him turned to him. He continued..."TODAY WE SHALL BE AUCTIONING A 1990 RED MAZDA PICKUP LICENSE NUMBER XXXXXXX, WE DO NOT HAVE A KEY FOR THIS VEHICLE BUT WE ARE SURE THE WINDOW CAN BE BROKEN AND IT CAN BE HOT-WIRED!!! I SHALL START THE BIDDING.." (he pauses for effect) "AT 50 CENTS"
Bidding was fast and furious for about 30 seconds and people were shouting bids faster than Impact could keep up. Then again he said, "LADIES AND GENTLES WE CAN'T LET THIS LOVELY 1990 MAZDA PICKUP, WHICH IS PARKED IN OUR FIRE LANE, GO FOR A MEASLY $3.50!!!! TRUST US WE HAVE SWORDS, WE CAN GET INTO IT AND GET IT GOING!!!" Suddenly, one of the people wandering over to see what all the commotion was about, heard something that apparently stirred a memory. This VERY round woman proceeded to dash accross the fair and to where the truck was waiting.
Everyone applauded the woman as she ran, Impact bowed deeply, and jumped off the table. MAN I HATE BEING UPSTAGED!!!!

Story Time 2

2005-01-31T13:12:00.000-08:00

Well as stories go this one is brief but amusing, at least to me. Although I wonder why these things keep happening to me. Then again, they could happen to someone else and I would run out of stories after a while.
As you know, I used to live in Sin City and Vegas has it's charms. Well not charms really, they are more like quirks. Well, okay, not quirks really, more like things to be avoided at all times.....well anyhow, you get the picture.
Since Las Vegas has quirks, the people who live there also have to have a little corresponding quirkiness. One of these people is the infamous Andre. Andre is a former resident of "the Townhouse" but I knew him as more than just a Couch Bob, because he was dating my friend Jenna at the time. Jenna always had a thing for Dre and put up with more from him than even the Townhousers did. Dre was a geek of the first order, but to truly understand that designation you really need a little explanation.
Back in the days when the internet was young and the World Wide Web consisted of less than about 6000 pages, there were these things called BBS' or Boards. Now boards were a place that you dialed into through the modem and shared info and other stupidity. Well they were also a place to share hacked or copied software. Dre ran one of the best known software piracy boards on a Unix box out of his house (which he shared with Jenna and others). And at the time of this story, the house (not unusually) was without electricity. Well......sort of. You see, the residents had done a little non-computer based piracy and run a line from their neighbors house to their own. (This is more common than you think in a place like Vegas where summer cooling bills can top $300) Anyhow, this piracy was to run CRITICAL things like the fans and a couple lamps. Dre.....you guessed it, had unhooked everything else so that he could have his computers and monitor hooked up. And he sat at his computer all day and all night with nary a fan running in order to be on his board and feel at one with the rest of the digital world.
One night, I went with Jenna over to her place so that she could get changed to go out with me to a much needed dinner and a movie (getting Dre out of the house....not bloody likely). So there I am, standing in the darkened living room, with not an air conditioned draft or even an air moving fan induced breeze from anywhere, when Jenna yells across the house for Dre. This, as I know is Jenna's "Dre is going to die if I can find a knife or even a sturdy plastic fork" voice. I, as a good friend and showing respect for their romantic harmony, do not laugh but listen quite hard as Jenna goes to Dre's loft "office" and pulls him away from the precious life giving green screen glow of his monitor. She pulls him into the bedroom, slams the door and stars berating him. Apparently, Dre did not want to take the chance of blowing one of his motherboards from a power surge and did unplug EVERYTHING else in the house, including the filter and circulation system on Jenna's rather expensive and quite difficult to maintain salt water tank. At this point, my listening carefully starts to cause me pain, since there were people in Henderson who could hear Jenna's tirade. I, of course, had to go outside very quickly since I started laughing hard enough to do damage to my spleen and various other organs. I was not laughing because Dre was being scolded however it was what he was being scolded for that caused me my chuckling induced injuries.
You see, the last thing I heard clearly before the paroxysm of laughter hit was Jenna's (rather loud but not unreasonable) "DAMNIT ANDRE I DON'T CARE HOW HOT YOU ARE NOT MY SKIRTS!!!! IT IS BAD ENOUGH I DON'T HAVE ONE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR THAT YOU HAVEN'T RUINED!!! NOW QUIT WEARING MY CLOTHES!!!!"
To this day, I can still snicker and feel the pain........

Story Time (Part 1)

2005-01-26T09:52:00.000-08:00

Since Cyberwolfe has inspired me to start writing some of the stories of my existence I thought I would relate one of a mutual friend of ours. And Wolfe, you have to tell the story of Lady D and tEMC getting rid of Andre's stash.
So, many years ago, I used to live with a former Couch Bob from the infamous Townhouse (To learn about the Townhouse, click here) the notorious "J". J actually dated tEMC before she hooked up with the Wolfie and somehow managed to stay circling around the edges of the townhouse after his rejection by tEMC. What I find incredible is that he managed to stick around and not be summarily executed by one or the other of the Townhouse's residents.
About the same time the Townhouse disbanded and tEMC, the Wolfie, the Barbarian and Lady D moved into Algonquin, J and I moved in together into an apartment on Spencer. I was geeking for a gaming company at the time and J was still living on disability from having a computer monitor fall on his head at work. J swore that this monitor accident compressed his spine and made him shorter, I think it gave him the delusion that he was ever taller to begin with. BTW, J is a good guy and really means no harm but he has a mutant power that seems to get him into a bit of trouble, he has the innate ability to say the absolute wrong thing at the absolute incorrect time. And yet this 5' 7", 125 lb. man has managed to live to beyond 30. Obviously this mutant power also protects him from his own innate ability.
J also thought he was a ladies man, and to his credit, he used to bring a number of ladies home, once. I don't know what happened when his bedroom door closed but I suspect his innate ability kicked in at sometime during the night and he ended up waking up alone and once he woke up alone and duct taped to his bed, with Dumbo playing over and over on his VCR. (J has an irrational fear of the "Pink Elephants" song in Dumbo, and, I must admit, I used to keep a copy around and ready, just to chase him out of the room.)
One day, J brought home a friend of ours, the divine Ms. M. An incredibly cute and young redheaded thing that I have had an unrequited love for since she was too young for me to date. It's okay, she knows and so does her husband. I am nothing if not forthright with my inexplicable crushes.
So, J shows up with the Ms. M and asks me to make dinner for the whole group. I do just that and leave the house for a little while to give them their privacy. (Also, my hearing is quite sensitive and J makes very weird noises when he is getting his groove on, something like the sound of a manual transmission being speed shifted from a high speed reverse into 2nd sans clutch)
Anyhow, I returned about 2 hours later to find Ms. M in the hallway trying to get into J's locked room and alternately giggling. When she saw me come through the hallway door, she started laughing outright. Thinking to myself, "Self", I said, "You have not done anything very amusing in the last 10 minutes or so, you didn't even trip on the door ledge as you usually do, why is this woman laughing at you?" Well before I could check to make sure my fly was up or that my hair was not all over the place weird she came running over to me, took my hand and drug me into the living room. And thus I found out how she came to be locked out of J's room, laughing, and naked. Oh, did I not mention she was naked? Well she was, and the reason I did not notice before is that at the time, she could have been strung with Christmas lights and I wouldn't have noticed until she asked me to plug her in, you see I was blind.
So the story as related to me by Ms. M was this. She and J were watching a movie and decided that having their fun together was more appropriate in his bed than on my new couch. (Actually Ms. M decided this, and I thank her for the courtesy). As things were getting hot and heavy. J paused and in his most impressive Rico Suave voice said, "I want to tie you up with silk scarves and make beautiful music to you". Clearly, this man has watched Cinemax late night too many times. Well Ms. M, a woman of impeccable self control (VERY flexible too, but that is another story), unfortunately had received a full blast of J's special power and she burst out laughing. Since she could not look at him and not laugh, after about 5 minutes, she went to get a drink of water from the kitchen. J, his ego wounded quite deeply then proceeded to lock her out of his room. This, apparently happened about 15 minutes before I came home, and she was still giggling when I returned. When I asked her why she was laughing at me, she told me that she thought about telling me the story and unfortunately re-lived the event all over.
Ms. M. spent the night in my bed. I, unfortunately, spent it on my non-sullied couch. And in the morning I was able to get her clothes from J's room and have my cab driver take her home. So the moral of the story is, "IF SHE IS ALREADY IN YOUR BED AND NAKED, DON'T KEEP TRYING TO SEDUCE HER!!!" Not that J learned this one right away, it took him about a week and I almost resorted to slides.

Thanks Alot Duck....(<-- this is sarcasm)

2005-01-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

I guess denial has always been a way of life for me. I took this test posted by Greyduck and I actually came out more nerdy than I thought I would.

I really have to wonder what I did with my youth......

ISNPIRATION!!!!!!!

2005-01-19T10:04:00.000-08:00

Well the Cyberwolfe has done it again. It is his fault I started writing this blog in the first place and it is his post that has inspired me to start writing this thing again. He has reminded me of many of the interesting stories that have happened in my life and that I should probably write this stuff down before I am old enough to have a plausible excuse for forgetting it. So without any further ado.....

FCC and misusing the System....

2004-11-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

Here we go again on another political rant. But first let me say that I have given up on the idea of this being just a photography Blog. For those of you who want photos, here and here:

There!! Happy Now?

Okay now on to the Politics. I have decided that the FCC has been misrepresenting itself and now it is time to set the record straight. FCC does not stand for Federal Communications Commission as we have all been led to believe. It stands for "Fool Controling Censorship" and I have one have had enough. Check out this post from Buzzmachine Essentially the FCC's only mandate is to react. They do not serve any productive purpose and can only react to either what they see or what someone is upset about seeing. 29 people out of a viewership of millions complained and a Network was fined $1.2 Million. I used to study Physics and even with all of my math background, I have never seen a better proof of an "irrational number". Because of rulings like this smaller network affiliates decided not to show "Saving Private Ryan" on Veterans Day. Even when the Network promised to pay any fines levied against the stations.
Well faithful readers, another proof is at hand. Spider Robinson (and others I am sure) said that "God is an Iron" and he was obviously right. On the day that America chooses to recognize all of the citizens who have been prepared to lay down thier lives for our freedoms, a movie showing those sacrifices and what they really were like, was not shown due to fear of an overzealous government agency and a very small number of gits who want to tell us what we should watch.

A Message to those aforementioned gits: THE TV HAS AN OFF BUTTON!!! USE IT, AND THEN GO READ A BOOK!!! Try McCullough's "John Adams" (No relation to Gomez you Dweebs) or Will Durants work, or maybe even this little thing called "THE CONSTITUTION" there is something in there somewhere about FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Bueller......Bueller....?

2004-11-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

So I am sitting here trying to get a domain controller to work (I am the king of useless as a network guy) and I was thinking......It's time to beg for comments. If no one else is reading this damn thing, then I think it is time for me to stop wasting blogspot's server space. I barely think about what I write before I do so, and I almost never reread my posts, so if nobody else is getting enjoyment out of this.....I will perform sepukku on my blog-self.

Fun Link for the politically disaffected.....

2004-11-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

According to Reuters our neighbors to the north have a solution for all of you unhappy about the recent election. Go Here and you too can go to the great white north and never have to worry about pesky Democrat/Republican politics again. Remember what made America the great immigration location in the first place.....running from your problems

Fiery Fun....

2004-11-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

So last night was lots and lots of fun. What was fun you ask. FIRE!! Of course. Last night was the 1st Sunday of the month (and during the winter, the only Sunday) for the Portland Area Fire Jam (We really need to put up a site). Anyhow, last night was the Third Anniversary of the Jam and the first time I have ever performed. Fun was had by all and aside from a little charred facial hair,(fire eater moustache trim), it was a blast.
Many down at the Jam are Poi spinners and staff spinners, (something I am not inclined to do), and there are enough drummers to make you think you are walking into a minor earthquake as you move down toward the bridge. What surprised me was that there was no one else there who was eating fire and only a couple others breathing fire. Frederick the Reckless and I got into a minor fire breathing contest and to say he won would be an understatement. I almost hit the underside of the bridge, he made it almost all the way to the underside of the roadbed. I did however, get a minor moral victory in that I was able to light, breath against and extinguish both ends of a short baton in the same set. (Fred didn't think I could do it).......To be honest, I wasn't quite sure myself.
One of the real joys of last night was that I got to see two ladies perform who have one of the best fire acts I have ever seen. Before I get into this, let me explain fire performance and the type of performance I have witnessed. Generally, there are 3 skills of fire performance; spinning, eating, and breathing. Some people, like me, specialize. I eat fire and talk a lot and only occasionally do I breathe fire. Then you have people like Fred, he is the fire spinner/breather head of Fire and Steel. Fred is very fast and very powerful as a fire performer, I am laid back and do comedy and make my audience laugh. In other words, Fred is Metallica and I am Arlo Guthrie
Last night I was introduced to a fourth type of fire performance, and this is the fire ballet. Imagine Cirque du Soleil with 2 foot long five fingered fire fans. These ladies were beyond sensual, they defined sensuality. Understand, there is nothing sexual about their act, so if you are hoping to see writhing bodies, you will be disappointed, however, you can have sensuality without sex. And if you do not believe that, then nothing I can say will help. Sad thing is I cannot even tell you their names as I forgot to ask when I thanked them for the show. Well I will see them next month, maybe I can ask them (If I remember).
Okay, enough screwing around.....time for me to accomplish something.....

Another Political Rant (someday, I will write a photography blog)

2004-11-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

Well here I go again. When I started this blog, I had intended to write every day......Oops!! Well those of you who know me know what my life is like and that the things I do for fun always seem to come a little further down the list than, "pick up cat litter" (And I am not owned by a cat anymore). I had also thought I would write more on photography.....Oops!! The subject today, like many others, it's politics. Following is a letter that I wrote to our returning President. For those of you just finding out that I am a Republican.....Sorry....it's true. And for those who think this note may be a little obsequious, I have a security clearance to worry about...
Mr. President,
Firstly, let me congratulate you on you victory in
the recent election. The American people have decided
to trust your judgment for another 4 years and let us
hope that the next term shows that we, as Republicans,
can be as magnanimous in victory as the democratic
candidate was in defeat.
On the subject of this letter and on my membership
in the Republican Party. I would ask you, Mr.
President, to please reconsider your desire to add an
amendment banning Same Sex Marriage to the
Constitution of the United States. The Constitution is
truly one of the most well thought out documents any
government has ever written for it's citizens. It is,
however, my opinion that the constitution should never
be allowed to deny any right to any American citizen.
Gay marriage should be an issue that is solely and
completely left to the states and, if the states
choose not to recognize gay marriage, (as my home
state of Oregon has decided), than the states should
have laws that address those affected by that states
constitutional ban.
In the past, the constitution has tried to deny
the rights of citizens of this country and the results
are still reverberating through society today. If you,
and the Republican Party choose to use the
constitution as a device to deny the rights of
American citizens and deny the rights of individual
states to make those decisions for themselves, then
you are betraying the beliefs that Thomas Jefferson
held so dear in forming the Republican Party in the
first place and I will, sadly, not be able to consider
the Republican Party as worthy of my association, nor
of the name Republican.

Sincerely,

Some of you may or may not agree with legislating marriage. If you do think that marriage should be regulated, than congratulations, you have just signed yourself up for more governmental control of your lives than Johnson or either Roosevelt ever dreamed of. But if you, like me, feel that enough is enough and that the constitution should never be allowed to restrict the rights of American citizens, I urge you to write to the President and your congressmen and whomever else you can think of to get that sentiment out. I believe in the silent majority in this case. However, in this case, silence is far from golden and just may be the lead that will sink this nation into the depths of becoming a Theocracy, and Theocracies are notorious for one thing, restriction.
Maybe tomorrow, I can be funny, today I am just ashamed and sad.

Catching up......

2004-10-31T23:14:00.000-08:00

For DOC's sake I will NEVER be able to live anywhere except the Pacific Northwest ever again!!!! I am in Mobile, Alabama right now and I had to drive around for 45 minutes to finally find a place where I can connect to the internet. AND IT'S A DAMNED KINKO'S!!! No Coffee.
Okay now that that is done, for those of you that have rant filters, I am in Mobile, Alabama for a few days visiting my grandmother. She has been feeling tired lately and I think her heart is finally beginning to give out. She is 99 (or 94 if you ask her) and she was told 5 years ago that she should have open heart surgery. She declined, and to this day I do not fault her in the least. She has continued to travel until very recently. She was in China 2 years ago and wanted to go to Italy last month but her doctor told her no. She is not one to usually listen to doctor's but for once she has. Not to say she isn't being pissy about it but such is her way.
So anyhow, about the photo shoot I did last week. It was a technical cluster flock and completely my fault to. I do not have a PC link on my flash and I thought I did. I however, do not and had to use a flash slave to run the strobes. On top of that I had no fill lights on any of the pictures and only 1 long soft-box as my strobe, needless to say not the best lighting conditions. What I find most amazing about how this shoot went was......lots of the shots turned out....I will post them as soon as I get back into Portland, since I have not loaded Photoshop onto the laptop and the full-size scans are 6 mpx (and no the are not digital, they are scans of negatives).
Anyhow, I should go, I am in the freaking Kinkos in Mobile, Alabama and they are actually looking at me like I am doing something weird this late at night (about 2 local time). It may also be the Dropkick Murphys I am listening to. Who knows. More updates and pictures (or at least links) later.

At Last a Post about Photography........

2004-10-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last week I decided it was time to write my own Blog, why remains a mystery even to me. But I did decide to do it and I was under the very false impression that I could get to it every day. Well it is not the first time I have been wrong. For proof ask me about my NaNoWriMo entry from last year.
Anyhow, I decided to write my blog and because my truest joy comes from my photography, I thought I would name this blog what it is named. Since then I have written about Politics, restaurants and some other dribble I can't recall but nothing about photography. Today that changes.
As I mentioned, my friend Alexis is in town and she has given me the pleasure of being my first model. Alexis seems to be my muse as I have yet to take a truly poor picture of her and some are very good indeed. Now, not only is she my first model, tonight she has agreed to go into the studio and let me do some nudes of her. She is lovely in pictures with clothing so as a subject for nudes, she should be phenominal. I just hope that I have the talent to truly do her justice on film.
I do not however have a studio or the expensive and heavy $1000 light kit. What I do have though is the great artists community in Portland. I found NewSpace Photo, and have been able to rent the studio for a couple hours there tonight. I bought a book on studio lighting and am going to try my hand with strobes for the first time. Hopefully I can get everything hooked up and ready and make some good pictures. I will probably post some of them on my site next week when I return from Alambama. I may post one here as well but we shall see.

Wish me luck (and additional talent)....see you tomorrow....Maybe

The direction of Elections.....

2004-10-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

Whether you know it or not, and most of you don't, I am registered to vote as a Republican. WAIT!!! WAIT!!! Don't try to flame my server to death...at least give me a chance to explain. I am registered as a Republican because I am a Jeffersonian Republican. (That is a level just short of Libertarian) and I probably always will be. The reason, I believe in self-sufficiency.
Robert Heinlein may not be the greatest writer of the 20th Century, but in all the works of his that I have read, I have noticed that he is one of the most consistant. He understands a principle of democracy that very few people seem to acknowledge. That is; A democracy can only survive as long as it takes the people to realize that they can vote themselves entitlement. At that point it becomes a dictatorship of the majority and soon becomes altogether unworkable.
The reason I am a Republican is that I am of the firm belief that there should be as little government as is necessary as to provide for the saftey of the people in that democracy. Democrats believe that the government knows best and is the ultimate arbiter since the majority is who put that government in control. This, in my mind makes one classic mistake and that is assuming that 150 million people collectively are smarter than one person. This may be true in the case of our current President since even statistical mathematics can not help him. Generally however, this is not the case.
Government is good, and I am definitely not trying to say that democracy is bad. It is the best we have come up with so far, but then Newtonian Physics was the best we had come up to so far 100 years ago. What I am saying is that LOCAL governments should hold the largest sway in our lives and on that the largest part of our attention. And yet the Presidential election is the one that is getting the serious press. On a day to day basis, I am more concerned with whether I will have to bypass the Broadway Bridge to get to the east side than I am if someone wants to drill for oil North of Point Barrow. If I lived in Point Barrow, this may be different.
Remember, gentle readers, that there are many elections going on. And some of the most important ones may directly effect you and yours on a daily basis than whether we have a President who is as boring as his wife's Family's product or having a Presidemt dumber than his last name.
When I started this, it was intended to be a bitch and complaint about Goli-Ameri and how she has used something David Wu did as a college student to gain favor among the voters and why it cost her my vote....but I got side-tracked. Maybe later tonight I will get back to that.

What's up with the Weather?

2004-10-25T15:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, time for another idiotic rant from your humble servant, ME. My rant is even more idiotic than normal today, because I intend to complain about something that no one can change and everyone bitches about, the weather.
So as my faithful reader(s)? Know from my post last Friday, my friend Alexis came into town to say hello and take a much needed vacation. Alexis is a stunning redhead from Southern California. Not only is she from the land of smog and make believe, she was raised there and has never lived anywhere else. She also likes it there very much (as I said, she has never lived anywhere else). She actually lives in Orange County, which, as I am informed, IS NOT LOS ANGELES!!! Funny that, it looks so much like LA to me that I get the feeling that I must immediately gain 15 vanity points.
Anyhow, I, your humble scribe, had conned, cajoled, and apparently coerced the lovely miss Alexis to come up and visit for a few days. (Come on!! Like you wouldn't do the same thing considering the girl in the link above) And she seemed to like Portland quite a bit. She actually called it a cute town, but then she is from a rather sprawling area of the country, cute to her may mean that it is smaller that 1900 miles sq. We went to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" interactive movie at the Hollywood Theater and also went to Dante's for Sinferno. Dante's however was having issues last night and considering it was 10:30 and the show hadn't started yet, we took our $6 cover back and bailed.
So now we get to the bitch, WHY THE HELL IS IT SO FREAKING COLD!!! I am trying to lure a beautiful woman from the smog and sprawl of Southern California and bring her up here to the land of transparent air. Does Portland not want any pretty redheads who are good bartender's? It's not like there are already enough here. You can NEVER, as we all know, have enough pretty redheaded bartenders.
Today, she and I met for lunch and as we were walking from my office to the Teryaki place down the street it starting raining, and it rained in big un-Portland-like drops for the entire 2 block walk and then stopped until we walked back outside. Then not only did the rain start, the wind picked up and the lovely Alexis started to turn blue. She only had on a leather trench with no lining. I loaned her my 'Bad Religion' hoodie (my favorite medium weight jacket) and walked her to the bus which she took back to my place. Now I have no jacket and the city is making a poor weather impression on my friend!! That's it, if Portland can't do me a small favor by giving me reasonable weather, I give. Maybe I will move to California!!! (Okay, anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am lying now.) Don't tell the weather, maybe a vacant threat will make it see the error of it's ways.

Quiz (Some more info about me).....

2004-10-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

Thank (I think) to Wolfie for sending this out:

Name a CD you own that none of your friends own: Dozen's of them (as my music tastes drift far into the range of eclectic) One would be A Place Among the Stones Davy was the piper for the original "Riverdance Company" and can be heard soloing on track 4 of the original release.

Name a book you own that none of your friends own: The DSM-IV Usually only owned by practicing counselors and psychologists (and some social workers) I am trying to learn a new mental problem every day so that when I am eventually on trial for killing someone, who will completely deserve it, I can claim insanity.

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that none of your friends own: Probably Mulletville A classic film about a young man who returns home to find that his roots......have dutch elm disease and that he is not as immune as he thought.

Name a place that you have visited that none of your friends has: Again, dozens. Also a lot of my friends need to get out of the country once in a while. Lvov, Kiev, St. Petersburg, Warsaw, Istanbul, Hat Yai (Thailand), and I lived in NW Brazil so a bunch of towns there.

Name something you've eaten that none of your friends has: Again lots of things (many unidentifiable or undefined) I don't always speak the language where I travel so there is a LOT of pointing and experimentation going on. Let's say, monkey (in Brazil and on many occasions) and leave it at that.

Name something you've done that none of your friends has: My friends are pretty good at finding strange and interesting things to do, but I don't think any of them have ever driven a 4x4 pickup completely blind.

Welcome to Alexis......

2004-10-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

Happy day, my friend Alexis came in yesterday, and I spent the evening showing her to some of my favorite spots in Portland. We went to dinner at Mama Mia's and yet again had a fantastic meal. Mama Mia's Trattoria has only been open a little over 2 months and my friend Jersey and I have been eating there since about a week after it opened. Jersey and I are food snobs, therefore Mama Mias is the perfect choice.
Now you may be wondering what I mean by being a "food snob". Firstly let me explain to you that I do NOT mean that Jersey and I are "Gourmands". It is impossible for someone who can eat a box of Krispy Kremes in one sitting (Jersey) or who eats Garlic Papper sauce on his fries (Me), to be gourmands. We are merely food snobs. We like good quality food that is well made and that doesn't try to be something it is not. I understand presentation as well as the next person, but who the Hell came up with the idea that putting a pansy blossom on top of my chocolate mousse. I know that it adds color and that mousse is kind of dull and brown, but for DOC's (Diety of Choice) sake stop it. Why would you garnish a desert that has no redeeming dietary benefits with a pansy blossom? Then again, why would you put a stabalizer wing on the back of a standard Honda Civic. And yet people of the idiot variety do it ever day.
It is obvious to me now that, at this point, I am writing just to see myself write so I am going to shut up and go make some breakfast instead....

Wireless Woes

2004-10-21T18:23:00.005-07:00

Okay, I am beginging to wonder why I even bother. I have here, in my pleasant little townhouse, a wireless network. I have had it for many months making me very proud that I can claim to be one of the cool kids in the domain of geek-dom. And I have had NO I repeat No complpaints about my wireless network for the entire time it has been installed. Admitedly, I have had NO use for wireless connectivity until the last 2 days when I got my new laptop, but THAT IS NOT THE POINT!!!! Now that I have a need of it, (wanting to type my happy little blog on my new laptop in the living room instead of the desktop in my office), it TAUNTS me.
You see, I cannot even get it to break and stay broken. If it were to break good and well this, though maddening, would be acceptable. It would tell me that it is time to get my lazy a** off the couch and go type on the computer upstairs in my office. This wireless router has decided to work only in so as much as to convince me that my connection is slightly more stable than, say an interim Iraqi government, and then it crashes and bars me from the Web. And then as soon as I get up from the couch to go upstairs and work up there, the connection returns. I swear, I have stood up and sat down from this couch so many times in the last 20 minutes, I feel like I have been doing a squat workout with the Russian Women's weightlifting team. (Hey, my legs are still on my body so it couldn't feel like working out with the Men's team). To add insult to injury when I do get back on the net, it is often through my neighbors wholly and completely unsecured LinkSys Router. Well at least now I have a way to practice my former teenage hobbies without getting traced :-)

Oh well, in deference to my workout, Dobra Noche

Politically Incorrect.....

2004-10-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

So the other day I had lunch with a friend and was amazed to find out that this person, whom I thought intelligent and open minded, is voting yes on a change to the Oregon constitution. This change would define "marriage" as a union between a man and a woman. (Measure 36, for future reference)
My friend, relayed that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that "they" (I assume the they in question means homosexuals) are trying to get the same rights as "normal" people. When I asked him what he would do if one of his children said that they were gay, you'd have thought I had asked him what he would do if one of his children was a serial killer. I am afraid I decided to let the argument drop do to a desire to finish my lunch before the election.
Later that evening, I received a computer phone call, (note to political action committees: if you are going to waste my time throwing your opinions on me, use a person....you are not gaining any of my support by bestowing upon me the convictions of a computer), that reminded me about Measure 36 and told me of the horror that has befallen the youth of Massachusetts. This horror is that, since Massachusetts has legalized marrige between gays, that the schools are teaching pre-schoolers about the gay lifestyle. Okay, now for the rant........
Firstly, I am straight. I do not point this out as a defensive mechanism to all of you (both of you) reading this and saying to yourselves, "he must be gay". I point it out because I am not only straight, I happen to be a "flaming" hetrosexual. What, you may ask, is a flaming hetrosexual? A flaming hetrosexual is someone who is so comfortable with thier own hetrosexuality, that they have the audacity not be uncomfortable with homosexuals. I believe that I can no more be gay than my friend Sean can be straight. Personally, I wonder what women find attractive about men. But it is not a question I dwell on so as not to reduce my dating life to an even more holocaustic display of social ineptitude than it already is.
Someone, who shall remain nameless (because the little skell did not have the courage to sign his own posting), posted to my friend Rory's Blog a comparison between homosexuality and pedophillia. Needless to say, this finally raised my ire to post here. In his/her argument, this individual claimed that pedophiles have wiring that makes them want to have sex with children and that homosexuals have wiring that makes them want to have sex with someone of the same sex, therefore both suffer from neurological disorders. Now, I sniped at this induhvidual, (thank you Scott Adams for that word), about having conviction and not courage (remember, he/she did not sign thier post) but now I am going to take the rest of you into a little world called "reality".
Pedophiles are NOT BORN, they are made. Pedophilia is an outlet for sexual desire to control. Pedophiles need to control thier sexual partners and yet have issues with thier own confidence with partners of thier same age and or mental level. Pedophiles have been known to marry people with moderate retardation in order to have a feeling of superiority. Known as inadequate personalities, pedophiles are usually created by severe abuse (more verbal than physical) as children. Read: Treating Sexual Offenders for a technical read, or Unspeakable Acts for an easier read. My point, which I seem to have lost here for a few lines. Is that comparing pedophilia to homosexuality is like comparing being born white (or black, or Chinese or whatever) to being a racist. Not only is the argument inaccurate, it's dumb.

Okay, rant completed....Nothing more to see here.....

At last I have given in.......

2004-10-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

Greetings Programs......

There, I just told you a great deal about myself with just two measly words. Why oh why have I ventured into the blogsphere after all this time? Well it is an experiment. You see, I want to see if someone who is as ADHD as I, can actually post here every single day. I will rant, I will review my world and maybe a little of yours and I will post my pictures and probably talk a lot about not understanding the world of photography.

Come with me and we'll see, a world of my imagination .....